T.J. Miller - Battle Of The Century, Part V

Song Rating: 9.37/10

Song lyrics:

Brandon Johnson
Our last battle was amazing, but it aint the last battle.
No, this is the last battle.
Weve got all-star emissario T.J. Miller, goin up against
The second degree black belt, kung-fu of rhyme...
T.J. Miller... in a slightly lower pitch.

So check it out, yall
T.J. versus T.J. in this battle til d**h
Winner takes all.

(Battle, battle, battle, battle...)

T.J. #1
T.J. Miller, aka the stone cold k**er
Work with the big fives, still waitin on Stiller
Hustler, hustlin since 03, you know me
Its T.J. Miller, the barely-an-M.C.

Got money for days, for weeks even
Im the demigod, so haters are heathens
Spit so fast, its a wonder Im still breathin
Couldve been you when I was a baby before I started teethin

T.J. #2
Forgot your name, Ill call you T. Gay Buttfiller
The only a**a**ination you make, is your a buzzk**er
I spit surrepticious with the daggers and the (clothes/cloaks)
Im a real rapper, you stick to tellin dick jokes

Im the nicest rapper alive, not polite
T.K.O., you already lost, we didnt start the fight
Quit standup, youre the worst, word to God
You should quit movies and TV, stick to improv

Clover-failed, oh no we got a bleeder
Look everyone its the poor mans Jon Heder

T.J. #1
Im Jon Heder? Nah, Im not a Mormon - Let the gates down
Youre the queen of the castle that Im stormin
Talk sh** about standup, youre like those improv snobs
Ill see you all in five years at your day jobs

Whats that? You didnt care for my comedy?
Well please exit to the left and buy my CD
Ran from the monster trained a couple dragons
Couldnt stop the train cause Ethan Suplee and me were (laggin?)

Im the big cheese, call me Mr. Stilton
You bit the dick that feeds you, youre Perez Hilton

T.J. #2
Oh good, another frod out white guy tryna big screen it
Weve seen it, it wasnt very good, Im serious, I mean it
This guys up a paddle without a creek
Heres some news for you, everyones out of your league

Dude looks like Seth Rogen looks like Jason Segel
Dude even kinda looks like Prince William, not as regal
Talk sh** and you can act like I care
Lest we forget, T.J., you were Yogi Bear

T.J. #1
Wait, hold up, thats a piece of groundbreaking cinema
Thats axiomatic from front to back like a palindrome about Panama
In case you didnt remember, Im from f**ing Denver
M.C.s get drawn and quartered, as well as dismembered

Like (Mike Judge), Im always ahead of the curb
Extract what you know about me and what you heard
If you dislike boredom, yo, Im the cure
Wash your hands with Purell, because youre impure

The jet-setting, betting therell be a Yogi 2 and if not
Heres a message from my money: f** you!

T.J. #2
Your raps s**, pocket ham and a clock collection
And its my understanding you rarely achieve an erection
You have trouble holding down a real relationship
You a**hole, when I give someone a brand new one, its you I rip

Toddler body, your face looks like God was tired
Im the Donald Trump card, youre fired

T.J. #1
Third-rate movies, TV shows all got cancelled
Youre bad at hip-hop, why not try dancehall
Youre the never gonna be and the never was
New math, any movie without you, thats a plus

Cant keep it together and youre always missin shows
Cant keep the rhythm, and it shows in your flows

Youre irresponsible, youre barely a man
Pasty, white motherf**er, youd be cream coloured with a tan
How you got a career, (for a sandwich?) for years Ive wondered
Go back to the rock you crawled out from under

Dont worry about whether or not youre gonna blow it
Itll all be gone, before you even know it
Youre the worst of the worst, it wont work out
Stars burn bright, T.J., you just burned out (out, out...)

Date of text publication: 17.01.2021 at 01:45